myself and me

by camilla jean welsch

my tears
are the clear hemorrhaging
of my soul.

I say:
self, get up!
but I am sinking
till I am sitting,
and soon, very soon, I am lying down.

my self says:
I am going to lie here a while
until I can get back up…

I say:
will you ever get up?

it says:
maybe, maybe. and by the way,
how many years till we can never get up again?

I don’t know, I say.

it says:
well, let’s just count them then, shall we?

OK, I say. OK. But after that, let’s get up, OK?

if that’s what you really want… it says back to me.

so we do,
and we do,
and the hemorrhaging is done.

my self wipes my face and blows my nose for me.
ready now? it questions.

ready as I’ll ever be, I say sitting, my head still hung.

OK, then we agree, it says and nods my head at me.

I get up.
we are up now.

myself and me.

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